Hi Everyone , my husband of 14 years is getting
Sentenced today , I’m extremely nervous,and wanting justice
, what a nightmare for any human being , the day has come to put the past behind
me, unfortunately we will always have the memories of what our partner/ husbands has chosen
to do , hurting the ones around them , I go to counselling weekly , and I find they help but at the end of the day
they don’t truely understand what it is like being married to a human being that looks up children , I still don’t understand
why ??? Sick , sick , 30 minutes to go , lets hope there is some justice and punishment … thankyou I’m just venting …
Hello Butterfly, how did yesterday go for you. I hope it wasn’t too difficult. It’s the day of reckoning for your partner. Also for knowing the complete truth of things, judging by the sentence, if that can be a gauge at all.
So now is the time for you to be spending on just yourself, your own healing. Most of us find it easier to attend to ourselves once the offending partner is in custody.
What do you have planned for yourself? That sounds like such a trite question doesn’t it but it’s worth a thought. Up to now you’ve lived through his offence, with all its complications. Perhaps things may begin to unravel for you and you find our own feet within the next steps. Hopefully you can relax and start looking about you, at the beauty of your surrounds and enjoy life a little more.
I’m glad to see you’ve been attending counselling. I don’t really know if the questions of ‘why’ really disappear. But there is the comfort of knowing that your partner is in the space to really challenge those questions for himself, and it’s not your burden to carry.
Please Butterfly let us know how you are going. Remember that we on this forum are thinking of you and wishing you well in this next stage.
With warm regards.
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Hi Butterfly,
I chose to be in the court room, the day my husband was taken into custody. The thoughtful police officer sat beside me and ushered me out to a private room as soon as the Magistrate announced that my husband would be taken into custody immediately and would have to appear the following day for sentencing. I could see through a small window when the handcuff’s went on and he was surrounded by at least 6 heavily armed officers, who escorted him to a cell under the court. I cried all the way home… Shocked, traumatized and lonely in the deepest part of my heart. I had been married to him for over 30 years. On our 31st Wedding Anniversary he was in prison and I had just filed for divorce. 
If ever I was sad, I could cry in his arms. That day, he was the reason for all the tears and he was not there. Love for spouse does not instantly disappear. I worried about how he would be treated in prison. I worried about bullying. I am the perfect girl who cares too much for my family and that’s exactly why he chose me!
I hope Butterfly that the “fog” of shock and all the emotions that wash over you every day, start to ease.
I am glad you vented. WE here certainly understand much of your journey and for myself the confusion of conflicting emotions.
I personally am trying to work on being more alert to anyone who tries to manipulate me, or take advantage of my preference to always be kind to others. It’s baby steps, but I am on the road UP ! I wish you some peace, relaxation and recovery. May you, in time, also be able to look back and say “Yes, I am on the road UP!”
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