With the internet now a regular part of everyday life, children are growing up exposed to constant impacts and influence of the online world. Teenagers are also impacted, influenced and vulnerable to online harms from bullying, harassment, stalking and coercion as well as sexploitation, grooming or victimisation via CSAM. Adolescence is a period of life where the need for acceptance by peers, impulsivity and risk-taking is high and the ability to see another’s perspective and understand the effect of choices is developing, in both online and offline contexts.
Shepherding teenagers and emerging adults through a world of conflicting messages and exposure to quite adult concepts is a challenge. Parents and carers cannot do this uninformed of obstacles and the dangers of unlimited internet access. In an ideal world, conversations will continue about privacy and body safety, but with a broader scope.
After reading a book recently on the brave accounts of teenage women harmed by abusive practices in the world of competitive gymnastics, it became obvious that the culture surrounding them was a huge problem. By silencing their voices and concerns, the culture and expectations on these young women enabled horrific, long-term abuse from many people they trusted. It appears that creating a culture where teens feel safe talking about anything and knowing they will be heard and understood is key to helping protect them from harm of any kind. As parents and carers, it is our job to do all we can to be aware of harms, to mitigate risks and to be advocates for anything that raises concerns for teenagers.
One way to do this is to help your teenager understand what makes a safe person: someone who listens, respects them, is honest with them, that they feel happy being around and who is transparent in their actions AND their age. This makes it easier for teenagers to identify friends or potential partners who might exploit them, who are not a good influence and who won’t contribute to their lives in healthy ways.
One of the biggest issues in the teen years is exposure to adult content and the growing trends among young people to normalise sending illicit images. Teenage brains are not aware of the risks or potential long-term effects of entrusting private images to another person. When combined with technology, this can lead to long term negative consequences.
There are many ways to combat this:
-limiting internet availability from a set time at night until the morning
-making it a family practice to charge phones and devices in a common area
-delaying giving teenagers smartphones with internet connectivity as long as possible
-using adult content monitoring software and internet filters
-having regular conversations about their internet activity
-discussing the use of screenshots making even ‘disappearing’ images permanent
-encouraging ‘offline’ social activities
Parents and carers must be informed about the growing epidemic of teenagers and young people addicted to pornography and how it affects relationships. While there is increasing pressure to add age verification to adult sites, it is incredibly easy to find adult content on many platforms, not just those dedicated to it. Pornography is as addictive as cocaine, and it will find your teenagers without much effort at all due to the predatory nature of the industry and the algorithms it uses. Pornography is not a harmless portal for sexual education and if you are not actively making your teenagers aware of it’s harms, they are vulnerable.
While this information might seem overwhelming and grim, it is not beyond a savvy parent or carer to navigate. What you are not willing to start a conversation about with your teen, they will be googling and coming across in their online activities.
The following are helpful links if you want to know more about equipping your teens to be safe and aware online and elsewhere.
What you need to know about sexting
Educating Teens about consent
A handy guide to consent talks
Get the Facts on Pornography
Collective Shout