Many of us here are very aware of body safety talks and the importance of them. Sometimes it can be difficult to know how much to say, or when to say it.
The key is to make body safety talks on ongoing conversation, with appropriate information for each age and stage. After reading a book recently on the brave accounts of young women harmed by abuse in gymnastics, it became obvious that the culture surrounding them silenced any concerns, and in turn enabled horrific, long-term abuse from many people they trusted. It appears that creating a culture where children and teens feel safe talking about anything and knowing they will be heard and understood is key to helping protect them from harm of any kind.
Carol Ronken from Bravehearts has written a fantastic short guide to talking with children about body safety:
Parents play a vital role in helping children understand personal safety by using age-appropriate, open, and reassuring language. With younger children, this can involve teaching correct names for body parts, explaining that some parts are private, and reinforcing that it’s okay to say “no” to unwanted touch, even from familiar people. As children grow, parents can build on this by discussing boundaries, consent, and trusted adults they can turn to. It’s important these conversations are ongoing, calm, and part of everyday life, so children feel safe, empowered, and confident to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.
• Bravehearts delivers personal safety education to children from the age of 3, teaching children principles of personal safety built around three easy rules: We all have the right to feel safe with people; It’s ok to say NO if you feel unsafe or unsure; Nothing is so yucky that you can’t tell someone about it.
• Teaching young children body safety is essential to help them understand their rights, develop a sense of personal boundaries, and recognise when something doesn’t feel right. It empowers them with age-appropriate knowledge and language to express concerns and seek help if needed.
• By introducing these concepts early, children learn that their bodies belong to them and that they have the right to say “no” to unwanted touch or uncomfortable situations. Body safety education also helps to break the silence around abuse, creating a culture where children feel safe, listened to, and supported—critical steps in prevention and early intervention.
• Some age-appropriate tips for parents to talk to children about body safety, that I have recently shared are:
• Start early and use simple language: Begin conversations when children are toddlers using correct anatomical terms (e.g., penis, vulva) so they feel comfortable naming their body parts.
• Teach body ownership: Reinforce that their body belongs to them and they have the right to say “no” to touch, even from people they know or love.
• Explain the difference between safe and unsafe touch: Use clear examples that a child can understand, such as a hug that feels good vs. a touch that makes them uncomfortable.
• Use everyday moments: Bath time, dressing, or doctor visits can be natural times to reinforce messages about privacy, consent, and who is allowed to help with private care.
• Introduce the concept of ‘safe adults’: Help them identify trusted adults they can talk to if they feel scared, confused, or uncomfortable.
• Reinforce that there is no secret that children cannot tell someone: Let them know that some secrets (like surprise parties) are okay, but secrets that make them feel sad, scared, or uncomfortable should always be told to a safe adult.
• Keep the conversation ongoing: Make body safety a normal part of life, not a one-time talk. Regular check-ins show your child that you’re always there to listen and help.
• Use books and resources: Age-appropriate books and videos can make these conversations easier and more engaging for children.
The following are some helpful resources to help guide these conversations for parents and carers
Bravehearts has numerous resources available through their website, including a free downloadable guide for parents and guardians:
Bravehearts also has an online education resource store
Project Paradigm
ChildSafe
Safe4Kids
Act for Kids resources
Early Childhood consent and body safety